I made this blog with the intention of keeping up with my pregnancy and really just growing with me. Unfortunately I had an extremely rough pregnancy, delivery, and after the fact I had to have 4 surgeries. So, let me catch up...
I became extremely itchy the first day of my third trimester. Come to find out I had cholestasis of pregnancy. It was extremely stressful because very few doctors knew about it nor did they agree on my condition. The scary part was that between 37-38 weeks the baby could be born stillborn due to the increase of bile having a possibility of stopping its heart. I went to tons of specialists and had to have NST tests twice weekly.
I had to be induced at 37 weeks and 4 days because the baby's fluid levels were non existent. He (we had a boy!) was born after a very rough, failed induction that ended in a general anesthesia c-section. He was beautiful. Born at 8 lbs. 1oz and was perfect. No NICU stay for him. Unfortunately when he was 10 weeks old; the day after Thanksgiving, I went in for emergency gallbladderectomy and to have a gallstone removed from my bile duct. The hospital sent me home the next day and I was right back in the hospital with awful pain. Come to find out they neglected to tell me that I had a second stone stuck in the bifurcation of the duct... I went jaundice in their care for 2 weeks while they waited for me to a MRI to see the stone..... the machine was broken. Fast forward and we had failed surgery number 1.... they woke me up and told me to make a split minute decision in which to either have full open surgery or opt for a liver drain to help the bile flow out. We opted for the bile drain. It was the most draining, awful feeling in the world... I hated it. Ill skip all the gory details, but they tried again with the stone removal and this time we got it out. After that surgery, it was like night and day. I was brand new!
Unfortunately during the time I had to pump and dump because I couldn't breastfeed my son from all the heavy narcotics they had me on for pain. I lost my milk supply and had to attempt to get it back by lactation bars and oatmeal... Luckily it worked and we have been going strong since.
Fastforward... almost 2 years. I have a beautiful, spunky little firey redhead that keeps me on my toes... but something isn't right. He stopped saying the few words that he had been saying. He forgot how to do certain things.... he doesn't like other kids. He has anxiety whenever we go anywhere where there are people. He lines up his toys over and over and gets frustrated and sometimes angry if you move them.... then he started hitting himself in the head with his hand. He began banging his head on walls and on the sliding glass door. I became increasingly worried.... so we had him assessed... his hearing was fine, his speech was note only lacking but not there at all.... and finally he was confirmed to be autistic.
He is now 25 months and is just about to start his ABA therapy and speech. Every single day is draining on me. He is into everything. He screams, he grunts, he pushes me... that is how he attempts to communicate with me, but clearly I don't always get it. I am exhausted and I am desperately clinging to the hope that my son will "grow out of it" and that he was misdiagnosed with being autistic as well as having global developmental delay. I pray every night that I will wake up the next morning and he will talk to me like a normal person... just say "Mom" or "I love you", that is all I want. I know it is selfish but I am breaking down inside as I see "normally developing" kids and how they interact with their parents. It truly breaks my heart. One day... I hope.
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